So It's January 2011, Now What?

Over the years that I have been working with people on behavior change, I have noticed a trend that starts this time of year. It is a trend that is obvious to those that work in the wellness/fitness industry, companies that produce smoking cessation products like Nicorette, and to those of us who counsel people on change…that’s right, it is New Year’s resolution time! “And this year is going to be different than last year…er, I hope it will be different...well…maybe it will be different…” is the usual thought process that goes through people’s minds. In this post I am going to talk about what it takes to be successful instead of leaving it up to “hope”. Here are six simple tips that can help keep you on the path to a successful New Year’s resolution:

Write It Down

“If it’s not written down, then you are not truly committed to it,” is what a mentor of mine always told me. And it’s true! When I don’t write things down, I usually forget about them. The fact is that simply by writing down your goal you can exponentially increase the chances of actually obtaining it. Several academic studies report that as much as 30 to 40 percent more people attain their goals than those who do not write them down. My advice is if you are serious about keeping your New Year’s resolution, write it down and put it somewhere that is visible to you on a regular basis. I recommend the bathroom mirror, a sticky note on the work computer, or on the corner of your rear view mirror (make sure you can still use the mirror).

Small Actionable Steps

Whether you are out to change the world or simply want to lose a couple pounds, make sure you break your goal down into small actionable steps. Start off with your main goal and the time you want to achieve it in, then break it down by quarter, month, week, and day so that you have a road map of what you need to do each day to be successful. I had a guy that wanted to lose 15 pounds when I first started working with him. We started with small actionable steps. He was to start by exercising for 10 minutes every day. When he was able to exercise every day for 10 minutes we went to 15. We worked this process until he was able to be exercising for 45 minutes every day of the week. Mark lost over 70 pounds that year, his goal was 15. He did this by having small actionable steps that he took every day to achieving his goal.

Celebrate the Quick Wins

Behavior change is a physical, mental, and chemical process. To be successful we have to physically change our habits (small actionable steps), we then must change our mental outlook (self-talk), and by changing those two things we can change the chemical make-up of our brain (habits). By celebrating the quick wins and praising ourselves for achieving those small actionable steps along our journey will help with changing our self-talk. Self-talk is one of the most influential pieces to behavior change. You can either build momentum or kill it with your self-talk. Celebrating the quick wins will help you with positive self-talk and will foster the necessary momentum for you to be successful.

One Day

If any of you know someone who is an addict or perhaps you yourself are an addict, you probably have heard this before. I have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic for 18 years. I asked him one time how he managed to go 18 years without a drink. He told me he never tried to go 18 years without a drink. He said, “I only don’t drink for one day. Then if I am blessed to wake up tomorrow, I am only going to not drink for that one day.” This process of taking it one day at a time has led to him not drinking for 18 years. Behavior change is a long slow process…so take it one day at a time.

Prepare To Fail

Most people don’t want to hear this; however, you are going to fail at least once while trying to change a behavior. In fact you will probably fail more than once. This is to be expected, and planned for. “Why do we fall down Master Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” – Batman Begins. It would be nice to be able to tell you that you are not going to experience any “pain” or setbacks while trying to make changes, but that just isn’t how behavior change works. It’s hard, in fact, it’s really hard. But as Woody Hayes once said, “Anything easy, ain’t worth a damn!” When creating your strategy and the small actionable steps, prepare for what happens if you fail or fall off track. Have a contingency in place for what you need to do to “pick yourself up”.

Stop Beating the Horse…

…It’s dead already. When you fall off track, as I said you would, there is a moment of truth for you. Most people choose option A - to kick yourself, and then kick yourself again, and then again, and then again, and then again…you get the point. To be successful at changing a behavior I recommend option B – which is to follow your contingency plan, get back up, move on, and forget about what happened. Don’t ask yourself WHY you fell off track; ask yourself WHAT you will do differently next time when it happens. When Payton Manning throws and interception, do you think he is thinking about the interception he just threw or the touchdown he is going to throw next?

My Advice

When working through behavior change it is important to remember that it is a process. Just because you were unsuccessful at one point doesn’t mean you will always be unsuccessful. I can promise you that the past does not predict the future. Statistics show that for those who are trying to quit smoking you will make on average seven different attempts to quit before you will be successful. The same goes for any change. It will take time, hard work, and a tenacity you wouldn’t believe. In the end if you stick to the process, you will make it. I hope this helps those of you out there that are working on your New Year’s resolution. As I said before, it doesn’t matter the size of the change you are trying to make, whether big or small, by following the process you will be successful.

Till next time,

Jonathan

Do you choose to see the possibilities?

I want to tell you about a moment in my life that literally left me speechless. Now, these types of moments (speechless ones) are not exactly numerous, which is why this one sticks out in my mind so much. It was a moment I will never forget, in fact as cliche' as it is to say, I remember it like it was yesterday. It was one of the first times that I felt my life's synchronistic touch.

It was late July and I was on a fishing trip with my late grandfather Paul Stradtman. Paul was my "step" grandfather, yet treated me just like I was his own flesh and blood. Which is why I had the most wonderful opportunity any young man in his early twenties could have. It was the third year in a row that we took a group of men up to Canada about three hundred miles north of International Falls, MN on the Ontario/Manitoba border for an annual fishing trip.

We set up the trip so that you fished with a different partner each day to ensure that people were connecting and meeting all of the members of the group. Over the past three years I had become good friends with a gentleman by the name of Joe Dickey. Joe had became one of my "uncles" for the week. The moment I am about to describe was on the day that we were scheduled to be fishing together.

When taking a fishing trip to Canada it is often helpful to have a guide take you out on the lake to help you find your way around the many twist and turns of the Canadian wilderness. The particular lodge we went to would often use Natives to be the guides. They enjoyed the work and most knew the waters we were fishing better than anyone. Unfortunately for some of the Natives, alcoholism was a problem. On this particular day the gentleman, that was supposed to take Joe and I on our trip, never showed. The lodge owner then called in a favor to have someone else guide the boat for us on that day. That day, we got to meet Larry.

Larry was the Chief of his tribe, and was also a member of the Ontario Provincial Police. He was very personable, outgoing, and overall there was something very different about Larry than any of the other guides. We spent the better part of the morning fishing and enjoying Larry's tales about being on the police force and being the Chief of his tribe. We were navigating to another fishing spot and to get there we had to go through the North Boundary Falls. The North Boundary Falls is where there is a slight change in elevation, which creates an area of rapids and whirlpools about the length of a football field. Once we got through the falls Larry proceeded to tell us another story.

Larry then told us about a time when he was patrolling the falls one day and happened upon a capsized boat. Two men had been out fishing (and drinking) and ended up getting the motor of their boat caught in a whirlpool which promptly flipped the boat. Larry said he had saved the two guys, and in a very nonchalant manner mentioned that he had yet to be repaid for his good deed.  Joe and I, both beaming with curiosity, asked Larry what he meant by "paid back". Larry then spoke about how in his Native culture it is believed that you are repaid for any good deeds done in life. At that moment something monumental happened for Larry.

At the precise moment that Larry finished his story about his Native culture and their beliefs, a bald eagle had flown over and a feather fell from it's tail. I thought Larry was going to have a heart attack as he yelled, "Pull your lines in guys I have to go get that feather!" Joe in I didn't mind, at this point we were curious as to where this was going, so we reeled them in. Larry then navigated the boat over to where the feather had fallen and it was there floating in the water. Since I was in the front of the boat I was reaching down to pick it up when Larry yelled, "No don't touch it!" Startled, I sat back down as Larry looked to Joe and asked, "You got a smoke?" Joe then said, "Sure!" as he handed Larry a cigarette. (Now, in Canada, cigarettes are at a premium as they usually cost 10 dollars a pack.) Larry took the cigarette and walked up to the front of the boat, as he leaned down to pick up the feather he unraveled the tobacco into the water then took the feather. At this point Joe was a bit upset at the site of his cigarette being torn apart and asked, "Why did you do that?" Larry went on to explain more about the Native culture.

It turns out that in the Native culture if you are going to take something from the earth you must give and offering in its place, in this case it was one of Joe's precious cigarettes. "You cannot take anything without giving something in return," stated Larry. It also turns out that in the Native culture, a tail feather from a bald eagle is one of the most prized items nature could give. The next thing Larry said was, "This is my repayment for saving those two guys lives a couple years ago. I must not have told the right person that story, which is why I was repaid now. I finally told the story to the person who needed to hear it."  Joe and I looked at each other and must have thought the same things as there was this unique tension in the air. We both accepted Larry and his story for who he was, but shrugged off the event as coincidence.

We continued fishing for the rest of the day when towards quitting time we were headed to a different spot cruising across a large bay. In Canada, the black flies are quite bothersome and tend to actually bite you. This particular year they were worse than they had been. They were so bad that we all started to wear two pairs of socks as they often tried to bite your ankles. As we were crossing this bay Joe was saying how bad the flies were as we were swatting them away. Larry then noticed something floating in the water. "What is that floating up ahead," Larry said. We figured it was trash from another boat so we pulled up to grab it. Joe reached over the side to grab what ever it was and by the utter shock on his face I knew it was something strange. "What is it?" Larry asked. Joe responded in an amused voice, "You aren't going to believe this, but it is a completely full can of OFF bug spray..."

Given the day's previous events of a serendipitous nature, Joe and I looked at each other and knew this was more than just coincidence. In the middle of thousands of acres of water which only two lodges occupied was a completely full can of OFF precisely when we needed it. Joe and I knew we immediately had to share the story of our great day of fishing, Larry's story, and the bug spray with the rest of our group. What some people see as coincidence, others see as providence. We originally thought Larry was a little out of it; however, Joe and I will forever maintain that this day was one of providence, not coincidence. 

Since we went fishing there have been numerous events and moments in my life that have guided me to where I am; however, I often wonder, what if I were not open to the possibilities?  What if I were focused on problems instead of possibilities? I believe I would still be where I am, I just wouldn't have had as much fun getting here. They say luck is when preparation meets opportunity. If that is the case, my advice is, open your mind and don't waste the hard work of preparation by being blind to the opportunities.

Thanks for reading,

Jonathan Meenach